I Thought She Knew
by Anya3
Summary: Amelia is getting married and Zelgadis thinks he's lost his chance. Zel's POV


I Thought She Knew

**I Thought She Knew**

  

    
    
    Songfic: Nsync's 'I thought she knew.'
    Zelgadis almost misses his chance to have Amelia. He tells her on her
    wedding day.
    ********************************************************************
      
    
    (Zelgadis's pov)
    Everyone was there. Lina, Gourry, Filia, even Xellos had found
    his way to the ceremony. I myself stood back off in the shadows. I
    still couldn't believe it. She looked so beautiful in that white lace
    gown; like an angel fallen from heaven. Her short hair was put up with
    little white roses and her makeup was done lightly. Maids and servents
    were swarming all around her, flustering over the way she looked, trying
    to make perfection even more perfect, but to no avail. She had a flush
    running over her smooth alabaster skin, slightly tanned from our
    journies.
    I turned away from this heavenly sight, closing my eyes
    as the pain and realization slammed into my body again, making my
    heart ache all the way through my veins till even my fingertips throbbed.
    I knew what I was missing. I knew what I had missed out on the chance
    to have. Her. Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune. This goddess disguised as a
    princess that stood just across the room, yet thousands of miles
    away. I remembered Lina's goodhearted attempts to get me to get
    closer to Amelia. She knew how we felt about each other, however we
    couldn't see it...I couldn't see it...until then.
    She was my once in a lifetime
    happy ending come true
    oh I guess I should have told her
    I thought she knew
    Now I knew that I loved her. I knew it was so deep and so true.
    How could I have missed it? How her eyes sparkled whenever I
    talked softly to her. How she looked at me when she thought I
    didn't notice. How she so longingly wished I would return her
    feelings. And I had. But I had waited too long and now here we were. And
    she was getting ready to get married. To HIM. Sure, I didn't know him,
    but I didn't want to and I didn't care that I didn't. He was like
    any other prince. Out to get Amelia's family fortune. He looked at
    her and he couldn't see her. Not really. She was just another peice of
    meat to him. I saw that disgusting look in his eyes. I knew he was
    just waiting for the wedding night. I shuddered as visions of the
    two of them invaded my mind. She wouldn't go that
    willingly. He
    would probably force her down and be asleep before she even knew what
    had happened.
    She desereved better than that though. She desereved to
    be layed down on the softed sheets available in all the lands and
    made love to sweetly and slowly until she almost passed out
    from pleasure and love. She desereved someone who would love her
    tenderly until the end of time and beyond then. And gods above and
    below knew how much I wanted that someone to be me. I
    wanted so badly
    for that someone to be me standing up at that alter waiting for
    her to walk down the aisle with a smile on her face and right into
    my waiting arms. I wanted so much to hear her say that
    she would be
    mine forever. But I had lost that chance, hadn't I?
    she said I took her for granted
    that's the last thing I'd do
    oh I'll never understand it
    I thought she knew
    She was going to marry him for the good of her kingdom. Her
    father had given her until her 18th birthday to find her husband.
    I knew she had had her heart set on me, but had never wanted to
    burdon me, knowing how I felt annoyed by her. But that wasn't true.
    I loved her little justice rants. They were so cute. And the way
    her nose scrunched up whenever she was confused. Those huge blue eyes
    shining back at me with such innocence. I couldn't believe how
    beautiful she was and I had missed it. 
    Lina lead the other girls down the aisle, not too happy herself,
    knowing how Amelia felt about the mand she was marrying. But for
    Amelia, she kept a smile on her face, though everyone
    could tell it
    was a forced fake one. She had been Amelia's maid of honor and
    Gourry one of the grooms men. For Amelia's comfort, the king had
    placed him there. Now he sat beside Lina as Amelia took the stand
    in front of the prince soon to be her husband. He looked generally
    bored and ready to leave. Then I saw him look down into her dress
    when she looked away. I wanted to kill him right now for that
    disgusting smug look on his face. He didn't deserve her. He was
    beneith her. He was scum compared to her. Everyone was.
    I thought she knew my world revolved around her
    my lovelight burned for her alone
    but she couldn't see the flame
    only myself to blame
    I should have known
    I should have known
    The priest began the ceremony and I began to listen in praying
    for her to say 'I don't' when her part came up. The prince simply
    gave a small nod, paying most of his attention to Amelia's breasts
    and giving a small 'yeah, I do', before going back to looking at his
    nails. Amelia looked ready to cry. I almost couldn't stand it. That
    idiot was standing up there picking at his nails and
    sighing while
    she was about to cry. Her wedding day was supposed to be wonderful.
    I knew how women always talked about getting married and how beautiful
    they wanted it to be. I knew that Amelia felt the same. I had
    heard her talk about it many-a-times with Lina while they were having
    one of their rare girl talks. I had seen the look in her eyes when
    Martina and Zangulus had gotten married. She had stars filling her
    eyes; today though, they were tears.
    I started to wonder where I went wrong. I had tried to be kind
    to her and I guess I thought she knew that I didn't mean any of the
    harsh words I meant. I thought she understood that. But she needed
    more. She needed to hear that I didnt hate her. To hear that I
    admired her speeches and the way she carried herself and her justice
    so proudly. She wanted to hear that she was my friend
    and that she
    meant the world to me. And even though she never knew I felt any of
    these things, she needed to hear me tell her I loved her. I should have
    told her too. I realized that. That I should have
    taken her in my
    arms when we were alone one of those many days and kissed her
    breathless, telling her aloud that I loved her like flowers love
    the sun. Like Romeo loved Juliet. But I didn't. I was
    so scared of
    her rejecting me, that I just let it go on and on and now here I was,
    loosing the thing I wanted the most. More than my cure, more than
    power.....the woman I loved was being taken away
    from me.
    I looked up as the priest asked Amelia if she would take the
    man across from her to be her husband.
    A heart full of words left unspoken
    now that we're through
    I'd tell my soul, tw'ere this silence broken
    oh, I thought she knew
    I thought she knew
    She paused for the longest time before sighing and looking
    around the crowd. When noone helped her out, she turned back and
    hesitantly answered.
    "I....I d-do." she whispered, so quietly almost noone heard
    her. But with my hearig I did.
    "If anyone objects to the joining of this man and this woman,
    please speak now or forever hold your peace." the preist said,
    looking up to scan across the vast crowd.
    Something rushed through me. Could I? Could I ruin this for
    her? And if I did, how would I explain my reasons for saying 'don't
    marry him'. Could I tell her? Could I let her know how much I loved
    her. Amelia then looked up and across the crowd of people, as
    if silently asking 'please, someone, anyone.' Then I saw it.
    The big tear rolled down her cheek from her right eye as
    she realized that noone was going to speak up. The priest opened
    his mouth and took his breathe to speak. Something went through
    me. I had to. If I didn't I couldn't bare to think of what I was
    loosing.
    "Then-" he began.
    "WAIT!" The word seemed to echo through the giant cathedral
    and gasps could be heard.
    The word bounced off the walls, repeating itself a couple of times
    before fading out. Heads started to turn towards the source and
    that's when I realized that the objection had actually come from me.
    My lips were still parted slightly and I couldn't take my eyes off
    of Ameilia. That one tear had done it for me. That one tear told me
    just how absolutely miserable she was. I could't allow that beast to
    put his claws on her beautiful and innocent body. I just couldn't.
    So I did the one thing I could. The one thing that could save her.
    The one thing my mind was screaming at me for doing. I knew what I
    had just done.
    I saw her breathe catch as she turned her head to look
    directly into my eyes. She hadn't thought I would say anything. She
    hadn't even thought I would come. Then I heard the most beautiful
    sound in the world.
    "Z-Zelgadis?" She asked softly. I closed my eyes to memorize
    for an instant the sound of her voice. An angel's song couldn't have
    sounded sweeter to me than her saying my name. Simply
    my name apon
    her lips cured every illness that I could have. And I knew then and
    there that I had made the right decision.
    I thought she knew my world revolved around her
    my lovelight burned for her alone
    but she couldn't see the flame
    only myself to blame
    I should have known
    I should have known
    And now here I am, seconds after saying that one word. I open
    my eyes and look back out to the eyes of my angel. She has a small
    smile on her face. I see her prince look over in shock,
    then disgust,
    then general disinterest before turning and leaving. And I step out
    into the light. I hear the gasps of shock, but ignore them. I don't
    care anymore what anyone thinks. Only what my
    princess thinks
    of me. And there it is. The sunshine. Her smile. She is smiling
    that smile at me.
    The smile that says that she is beyond happy that I had told her
    to wait. And I think she knows now, but I won't make that mistake
    anymore, I'm going to let her know anyways.
    So I start out and hear Lina not too far off yelling out
    to me, "Go Zel!". I can't help but smile as I approach the alter slowly,
    making sure that she is ready to hear what I want to tell her. I can
    see it, she is ready. She deserves those words.. After everything
    I've put her through, she deserves to hear them every minute of everyday
    for the rest of her life. And she will if I have anything to say
    about it. She is smiling brighter than ever as I step up onto the
    final step of the alter. She looks up at me with a knowing gaze but
    asks her question anyways.
    "Why?" And she knows the answer, I see it in her eyes, but
    I'll tell her anyways.
    She was my once in a lifetime
    happy ending come true
    Oh I guess I should have told her
    but I thought she knew
    I thought she knew
    Ooooo
    Oh, I thought that she knew
    "Because, I love you, Amelia." And then she smiles and the
    world...is perfect.
    END
    


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